The right therapist isn’t simply the one with the perfect credentials on paper.
It’s the one who is sensitive and intuitive enough to meet you where you are… who can help to put you at ease and who makes you feel valued and safe. It’s usually only when we have this foundation, that we begin to loosen and unlock the guarded and buried parts of us that enable us to grow.
So the right therapist is very much the right human being behind the training and the professional veneer. It’s the one who’s right for you, your character and your needs.
And I don’t say this just because it's my own anecdotal experience, it’s been shown to be an important factor for promoting good therapy outcomes in multiple research studies. Here’s a quote from a British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy publication…
A rich body of research shows that a stronger alliance (therapist and client relationship) is associated with better (client) outcomes (Norcross and Lambert, 2019). (link to the BACP publication, see Page 8)
This is great news for clients and therapists that understand that connection matters, and who take care to choose their therapy relationships well... and it makes sense when though about from a clients perspective.
Being a therapy client (and I've been one on many occasions myself), is a vulnerable and often stressful position to be in, and if you don’t get a sense early on - even within the first session or two - that you’ll be able to open up to the therapist in front of you, or you're not sure you even like them, you aren’t likely to want to embark on a highly intimate and potentially life altering journey with them.
And a good therapeutic connection is far from a given, as even very experienced therapists can be the wrong fit for some people - I've experienced this myself and had to muster the courage to tell them that I didn’t feel it was the right type of session for me.
In my current position as the therapist I'm pleased to report that I've been the right fit for many clients, and I've had the privilege of joining them in their journeys to rediscover their value and their voice, begin to make sense of their past, and build a new foundation to help guide them into the future.
My advice to those who are seeking out therapy, and indeed considering me as a potential therapeutic partner, is to try me and other therapists out for size until you get that distinct sense that you could work well together.
Many of us offer a free session for that very purpose, as ultimately we all want good outcomes for clients. So be careful and particular when choosing a therapist and that way you’ll likely increase the odds that you’ll be better off in the long term.
To see if I can be of help to you, book a free 30 minute videocall session.
For more information about how I work visit the Blog.
Norcross, J., Lambert, M. (2019) Psychotherapy Relationships That Work: Evidence-Based Therapist Contributions, 3rd ed. New York: Oxford University Press.
